Known Donor and Co-Parenting Disputes

Thinking of becoming a parent through known donation or co-parenting? Be sure to set the right foundations http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/page/Known-donor-disputes/92/ …

NGA quoted in Sunday Times feature on co-parenting

Nicola was quoted in the Sunday Times article this weekend about co-parenting, commenting on the legal issues for parents considering conceiving with someone they are not in a relationship with.  The weekend piece focused on a single woman, Charlotte, and her hope to start a family with a like-minded man.  Charlotte explains how, at 41, she feels her time is running out to have a baby and that she alone cannot afford to raise a child.  She is looking for a man she is not in a romantic relationship with, who will share parenting care, financial responsibility and decision making with her.
Nicola was asked to comment on our experience as legal experts in co-parenting, and what Charlotte – and others like her – should think about before going into such an arrangement.  She said:  “We have seen a lot of success stories since we started providing co-parenting agreements.  We advise people to think carefully about things like where everyone will live, what each person’s role is, how they will be known to the child and to others, and how the financial responsibility is to be shared.”
At NGA, we have seen co-parenting become a much more mainstream family building option for both single people and same sex couples over the past few years.  There are websites, including Pride Angel, designed specifically as a forum for hopeful co-parents to meet and discuss their parenting plans.  Some arrangements work incredibly well, but some do break down, and where they do this is often because there were mismatched expectations at the outset.
The key to ensuring a successful match and future arrangement is to have detailed discussions at the outset about the legal position and role of every individual (bearing in mind particularly that these arrangements often involve more than two parents – a situation the law is not adequately set up to cater for).  The preparation of agreements confirming everyone’s intentions (even if they are not legally binding) is often a very helpful tool in setting solid foundations and ensuring that everyone is in harmony before a child is conceived.
You can read the Sunday Times article in full here.  There is more information on the legal aspects of co-parenting on our website.  If you would like advice or to put an agreement in place, do get in touch

Yotam Ottolenghi on becoming a gay dad through surrogacy

Hoorah for NGA client Yotam Ottolenghi and his wonderfully heartfelt piece in Saturday’s Guardian:  Why I’m coming out as a gay father.
In a brave and personal editorial, the renowned TV chef and restarauter has spoken out about his long journey to fatherhood as a gay man, and how becoming a father has enabled him to reconcile himself to a new openness about his sexuality.  He says:
“At the end of a five-year process, I know we can’t be shy about telling our story, that privacy just isn’t an option. That’s because we could only have had Max, and hopefully also a future sibling, thanks to other people who have shared their stories. Max has already brought us immense joy. He has also forced our second coming out, this time as gay parents.”
We salute his bravery in coming out to the world about such incredibly personal issues.  We have been privileged to share his journey (as his legal advisors), which has taken him through the option of co-parenting to international surrogacy and the birth of his son Max earlier this year.  We know it takes brave men like Yotam willing to talk about their experience to inspire others that it can be done, and to enable them to feel comfortable about their choices.
The good news, from a legal perspective, is that the options for gay men to become fathers have never been better than they are now.
Since 2010, gay men who conceive with a surrogate mother have been able to apply to the family court for a parental order.  This ultimately gives them a UK birth certificate naming them both as parents.  It is a legal solution for gay dads who conceive through surrogacy in the UK and abroad, and it fully resolves all the UK legal issues.  Surrogacy in the UK is often more achievable than people realise, but many gay dads, like Yotam, are also going to the US where a more professional and managed surrogacy service is available.  There has developed a significant track record over the past five years of the UK High Court authorising such arrangements (even though they involve commercial surrogacy arrangements), case law which we have been proud to have helped shape.
Since 2005, gay men have been able to adopt as couples, with just the same rights as heterosexual couples.  They have full and equal parental status and an adoption certificate to confirm it.
And there is the option of co-parenting.  Here the law is more complex, and in particular gay couples  who donate sperm to lesbian couples may have no legal status as parents if the birth mother is in a civil partnership.  But these arrangements work too, and there are legal solutions available.
The climate has never been better for gay dads to start a family than it is now, and we hope that other gay men will draw courage from Yotam’s story.
There is more information on surrogacy for gay dads, co-parenting and adoption on our website.

Conceiving with a known donor or co-parent - how fertility counsellors can help and what they need to know

There are many issues to consider for parents considering conceiving with a known donor or co-parent. With a minefield of information to navigate, parents can be left asking: what do we need to know? How do we set things up? How do we avoid problems in the future?

Where conception takes place at a fertility clinic, counsellors can play a key role in answering these questions. In the light of the recent landmark decision on known sperm donation, BICA – the association for UK fertility counsellors – asked NGA to give some guidance on what fertility counsellors need to know about the law on known donation, to help them do their job effectively.

Nicola Scott’s article in the BICA journal gives an overview of UK law and the implications of the case, and explains how early intervention by fertility counsellors can shape known donor arrangements positively by encouraging parents and donors to iron out potential issues and mismatched expectations at an early stage. You can read the full article here.

We advise parents on a wide spectrum of arrangements by clarifying not only the legal issues but also the practical aspects which are all too often overshadowed. Please see our donor conception pages for more information, or contact us to discuss your arrangement and options here.