NGA quoted in Sunday Times feature on co-parenting

Nicola was quoted in the Sunday Times article this weekend about co-parenting, commenting on the legal issues for parents considering conceiving with someone they are not in a relationship with.  The weekend piece focused on a single woman, Charlotte, and her hope to start a family with a like-minded man.  Charlotte explains how, at 41, she feels her time is running out to have a baby and that she alone cannot afford to raise a child.  She is looking for a man she is not in a romantic relationship with, who will share parenting care, financial responsibility and decision making with her.
Nicola was asked to comment on our experience as legal experts in co-parenting, and what Charlotte – and others like her – should think about before going into such an arrangement.  She said:  “We have seen a lot of success stories since we started providing co-parenting agreements.  We advise people to think carefully about things like where everyone will live, what each person’s role is, how they will be known to the child and to others, and how the financial responsibility is to be shared.”
At NGA, we have seen co-parenting become a much more mainstream family building option for both single people and same sex couples over the past few years.  There are websites, including Pride Angel, designed specifically as a forum for hopeful co-parents to meet and discuss their parenting plans.  Some arrangements work incredibly well, but some do break down, and where they do this is often because there were mismatched expectations at the outset.
The key to ensuring a successful match and future arrangement is to have detailed discussions at the outset about the legal position and role of every individual (bearing in mind particularly that these arrangements often involve more than two parents – a situation the law is not adequately set up to cater for).  The preparation of agreements confirming everyone’s intentions (even if they are not legally binding) is often a very helpful tool in setting solid foundations and ensuring that everyone is in harmony before a child is conceived.
You can read the Sunday Times article in full here.  There is more information on the legal aspects of co-parenting on our website.  If you would like advice or to put an agreement in place, do get in touch

Equal Marriage (of sorts) - Gay Marriage becomes legal in England and Wales

Following our blog earlier in the year where we reported on the progress of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill we are delighted that the Bill has now received royal assent. After much debate and somewhat of a furore, this means that same sex marriage is now law, even though the first UK same sex marriages won’t take place until Spring 2014 once all the procedures and paperwork have been put in place.
Perhaps unsurprisingly there is some confusion around what the changes in the law actually mean. The key points to note are as follows:
1. It will be legal for couples of the same sex to marry in England in Wales.
2. Same sex couples can have a civil or religious wedding, but can only have a religious wedding if the relevant religious group decides to ‘opt in’ (which every religious group except the Church of England can do).
3. Civil partnership will remain an option for same sex, but not heterosexual, couples. (The legal differences between marriage and civil partnership are minimal in practice).
4. Same sex couples already in a civil partnership can convert their civil partnership into a marriage if it was registered in England and Wales. This will not apply to couples who registered a civil partnership in Northern Ireland, Scotland or abroad (who will not be able to marry unless they dissolve their civil partnership first).
5. For those splitting up, adultery is not a ground for dissolving a civil partnership and is only a ground for dissolving a same sex marriage if the adultery takes place with a member of the opposite sex (although in practice unreasonable behaviour usually gives grounds for dissolving a relationship where there has been infidelity anyway).
6. There is no international harmonisation of how or if a same sex marriage will be recognised in other countries. However, it is likely that a same sex marriage will be recognised in countries where same sex marriage is legal (such as France which has recently undergone similar changes).
The change in the law is certainly welcomed by us at NGA but the rules are undoubtedly complex. There has already been controversy over the decision to allow religious groups to opt in but this doesn’t apply to the Church of England. It seems an awkward concept that same sex couples are to be able to enter into a civil partnership but for there to be no option for heterosexual couples to do likewise.
There will be complex questions from couples in England and Wales who have married or registered a civil partnership abroad as to how their relationship will be recognised in England and Wales. Similarly, relocating couples will need to know whether their marriage will be recognised abroad. This will impact on issues such as tax planning or the breakdown of the relationship.
Much like with our campaigning work for a global harmonisation of surrogacy laws we feel that a more universal approach to same sex marriage is needed, but this is herculean task at a global level. In the meantime, UK same sex marriage is a huge step in the right direction.
Here at NGA we specialise in helping alternative families and have a strong background in cases involving the breakdown of relationships. We help with civil partnership dissolution, divorce and disputes relating to children and financial matters. We also help with pre registration and pre nuptial agreements to give clarity and prevent disputes in the future. If you would like to discuss your circumstances with us please contact Richard Perrins for more information.
Family Disputes Pre Nuptial Agreements Divorce and Civil Partnership Dissolution Financial matters

Yotam Ottolenghi on becoming a gay dad through surrogacy

Hoorah for NGA client Yotam Ottolenghi and his wonderfully heartfelt piece in Saturday’s Guardian:  Why I’m coming out as a gay father.
In a brave and personal editorial, the renowned TV chef and restarauter has spoken out about his long journey to fatherhood as a gay man, and how becoming a father has enabled him to reconcile himself to a new openness about his sexuality.  He says:
“At the end of a five-year process, I know we can’t be shy about telling our story, that privacy just isn’t an option. That’s because we could only have had Max, and hopefully also a future sibling, thanks to other people who have shared their stories. Max has already brought us immense joy. He has also forced our second coming out, this time as gay parents.”
We salute his bravery in coming out to the world about such incredibly personal issues.  We have been privileged to share his journey (as his legal advisors), which has taken him through the option of co-parenting to international surrogacy and the birth of his son Max earlier this year.  We know it takes brave men like Yotam willing to talk about their experience to inspire others that it can be done, and to enable them to feel comfortable about their choices.
The good news, from a legal perspective, is that the options for gay men to become fathers have never been better than they are now.
Since 2010, gay men who conceive with a surrogate mother have been able to apply to the family court for a parental order.  This ultimately gives them a UK birth certificate naming them both as parents.  It is a legal solution for gay dads who conceive through surrogacy in the UK and abroad, and it fully resolves all the UK legal issues.  Surrogacy in the UK is often more achievable than people realise, but many gay dads, like Yotam, are also going to the US where a more professional and managed surrogacy service is available.  There has developed a significant track record over the past five years of the UK High Court authorising such arrangements (even though they involve commercial surrogacy arrangements), case law which we have been proud to have helped shape.
Since 2005, gay men have been able to adopt as couples, with just the same rights as heterosexual couples.  They have full and equal parental status and an adoption certificate to confirm it.
And there is the option of co-parenting.  Here the law is more complex, and in particular gay couples  who donate sperm to lesbian couples may have no legal status as parents if the birth mother is in a civil partnership.  But these arrangements work too, and there are legal solutions available.
The climate has never been better for gay dads to start a family than it is now, and we hope that other gay men will draw courage from Yotam’s story.
There is more information on surrogacy for gay dads, co-parenting and adoption on our website.